My life suddenly lost all meaning
I was very happy to do my job in IT, lead my teams, start new projects and set up operations. I had a fantastic life filled with travel & fun and thought it was always going to be that way, you know, forever. I had everything I ever wanted in my professional life.
Life was grand, everything was fine.
Except I was in a toxic relationship. And I was also devoting tens of hours every week to the foundation I was a vice-president of. I was giving back to the society, so noble. But I was fine and, more importantly, indestructible!
I guess in reality things were not as great as they seemed, because I suddenly lost all my power, motivation and energy. In addition, I started to lose memory. And make very stupid mistakes at work, which made me look unprofessional. The biggest problem was that I couldn’t remember meetings. There was so much work that I didn’t know what to put my hands in anymore. So my confidence dropped drastically. I started doubting my skills, after 12 years of a career!
One day I woke up on what was supposed to be a Monday morning only to find out I had been awake for hours and it was 2 pm. I was, obviously, not at work and I had no intention of going. Nor did I care anymore. My usual love of life and energy were a faint memory. I would have been completely lost in that new situation, if I cared – but I didn’t. Nothing had any meaning anymore.
That’s how my professional burnout and depression started, in consequence rendering me unable to work for the next 18 months.
We all want to be free
It took me over 3 years to get back on my feet, find my purpose, discover the meaning of life and transform into a new, upgraded human being. A woman whose confidence is built on solid, internal structures. Who would not enter a toxic relationship, or get a job she doesn’t like – because she has deep respect for herself.
It is quite astounding what we get ourselves into when we lack confidence! We do things and engage with people even when we don’t want to, taking away our own freedom.
Each of us deserves freedom and can achieve it, but most of us don’t even know what freedom means to them. For instance, I always thought I was free, but that wasn’t true. I was enjoying life in my own personal prison.
You too want to be free. Did you ever stop to wonder: what is freedom for you?
Most of the time nothing else stops us than ourselves – our limiting beliefs, lack of courage and confidence. They make us stuck, cause procrastination, perfectionism, unhappiness. They make us build walls and cages around ourselves and hold us hostage to what we created. Making us think we’re free, but not feel free. And that’s just asking for trouble!
Do you feel free?